Author: momsguidetogod

  • Rainbow Twins Delivery

    When I was finally discharged from antenatal, Matt and I didn’t tell the kids. Instead he picked me up mid day from work and brought me home! Seeing my babies after 8 long days was so emotional. I missed them so much, more than I could have imagined. Plus it…

  • Recap of the Boys’ Pregnancy

    The boys’ pregnancy was my first pregnancy after loss. It was quite challenging compared to my other pregnancies. The first 12 weeks were really hard but I had the same great midwife from Porter’s pregnancy. That helped a lot because she knew my story. By the time we found out…

  • Twin x2

    God redeemed the loss of our first son Porter with miracle twins. He continued to amaze us though. This wasn’t the extent of the miracle. Matt and I decided to pay out of pocket for the Natera Panorama NIPT. This blood test checks for chromosome abnormalties , gender and can…

  • Ah Again Time Has Escaped Me

    If you are reading this, you can see it has been a YEAR since I last blogged. Life took a turn as it did for the entire globe. Shortly after my last post the pandemic hit and basically life shut down. I am going to quickly catch you up from…

  • Things NOT to Say After a Miscarriage

    At least you have other children. At least you can get pregnant. At least it was early. At least you didn’t know the gender. At least you can have more. At least you will see them in heaven. At least it was painless physically. At least you didn’t gain a…

  • Where have I been? 2020 Update

    I have ghosted my blog for several reasons. Shame, fear, inauthenticity, happiness, being overwhelmed, sick, lost, limited in time. All valid and all related to surviving loss.  September 26th, 2019, I woke up really early to go on a run. While making my coffee, I randomly decided to take a…

  • How many kids do you have?

    How many kids do you have? Alive, dead, or both? When I was pregnant with Porter and I was asked this question my answer was, “I have four girls and I am pregnant with my 5th.” I had already included him in my count. Answering this question fresh after losing…

  • What is a legacy?

    A legacy is passing on your life experiences and the wisdom you’ve gained through trials and triumphs. A legacy is something you leave behind that will benefit others. A legacy is what you will be remembered for and how you will make this world a better place.  Often times we think…

  • Picking Up Porter

    22 days, and 21 sleeps after Porter was gone, we finally were able  to pick up his remains from pathology. I stared out the window on our drive to the hospital in silence. I wondered, “Why didn’t anyone prepare me for this part of loss? How do you navigate picking…

  • What Is a Loss Token?

    There is a desire and drive to keep someone you love alive after they die. Keeping someone alive is simply doing everything you can to preserve them in daily life. Doing everything you can to keep their memory and essence here with you.   Using their name  Talking about them in…